Market "Pail"out?

This whole market bailout stuff looks pretty scary. Biggest fall in history? I must admit, I do not understand the stock market at all, and even as I read the article on CNN.com, my mind pretty much refuses to acknowledge phrases like "bailout proposal" and "rescue package" and it makes me feel like an idiot. Although - speaking of "rescue packages", shout-outs to Chrissy and Mrs. Davis for some pretty awesome packages! Chrissy, I am eating that honey like it's nobody's business (straight down the hatch, baby!) and I've already soaked up all my celebrity gossip from those US Weekly and People magazines; and Mrs. Davis, my students are going to be so grateful for all of those school supplies.

In any case, I hope everyone is well and that your "assets" are "secure", or something. I propose that everyone in the world get a dollar for nice compliments and 5 dollars for nice deeds. Not only would the world be a better place, the rich people would be the right people. Is anyone else with me here, or do I just sound like a stupid idiot with absolutely no knowledge of how money works outside of my own paltry savings account?

Oh, and I also like that they were calling the proposal a "market bailout" - for some reason it reminds me of that song "There's a hole in the bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza". I have NO idea why (synonym for bucket is pail, and that rhymes with bail?), but I still think it's relevant. I mean, Liza is America, right? And she's waiting for Dear Henry to help her fix it, but Dear Henry gave up on this country a long time ago, moved to Japan and works as a business consultant. And now Liza isn't worried about with what shall she fix it, because there's nobody there to even help! And now we're trying to replace Dear Henry, so we freak out and pick people like Sarah Palin (I mean, really, where did she come from? She is NO Henry!) I'm not supposed to get political on this blog, so I'll stop there, but I think you see where I'm going with this. There's a huge, freaking hole in America's bucket and only one man has the ears and teeth big enough to fix it. (Hint, hint) Let's get with it and fix that hole! (How did this metaphor get so out of control?? I have to go before it gets any crazier. My apologies.)